"Are We a Good Fit?"

Therapy, The Therapeutic Relationship, and The Good Fit Policy

Every therapist is not going to be a “good fit” for every client. What does this mean?​

Everybody is different, therefore everyone has different wants and needs.​ Not every therapist is going to match what each client needs and wants for therapy services.

Some clients will work better with therapists using different counseling styles, theories, trainings and different techniques, while other clients will work better with alternative therapists who use completely different styles, theories, techniques, and on.​

I am a big believer in client autonomy (aka client choice) and your right to decide what you want for your life. Therefore, I believe it is important for us to collaborate together and to discuss what you need and want throughout your mental health and/or personal growth journey.​

At times I may invite you to journal outside of session, read a chapter of a book, use various eclectic techniques, ask different questions for you to ponder and/or to journal about. It can be extremely beneficial to reflect on the differences that you want to see in your life and/or in yourself.​​ 

For example during a session, I might ask:

“What is working for you?"

"What is not working for you?"

"What do you need more of from me? What do you need less of?​

"What do you like in our sessions that you feel is helping?"

"What do you not like in session?"

"Do you need more of a pragmatic everyday mental health related tips?”

“Would you like more psychological education (aka psychoeducation) to help you with everyday life and more coping skills?” ​

"Or maybe, do you need help figuring out something complex that might be keeping you stuck and/or something that you just can’t put your finger on?”

Let's talk about it and explore it.

If something is not working for you or if you don’t like it, let’s talk about it.​ (For example, a technique, a theory, a style of therapy, etc.) As I tell my clients often, “It’s okay if we don’t click, vibe, or if you need something different than what I can offer. It will not hurt my feelings if that is the case and I will try to help you find another therapist who can meet whatever it is that you need.​​​” 

The Therapeutic Process and The Importance of Collaboration​

I cannot make any promises or guarantees that your behavior or circumstances will change. I cannot make any guarantees or promises that you will have personal growth, and/or that you will have personal development in your life, problems or issues, for which you are coming to therapy.​

Therapy is not a magic cure.

Side Note: Wouldn't that be awesome if it were? *Boom* "You are now the most authentic version of yourself. All your trauma is healed. All your negative core self beliefs are transformed. Society has magically progressed over night in countless different ways. Go forward and change the world, you amazing human." I would love that for you and for everyone else too. However, that's not how things work in real life and in the therapy realm.

As much as people and therapists might want to, we cannot give you the "cure", "magic technique", or treatment that will "make everything better".

We can do things like: hold space for you, your experiences and emotions. Teach you skills, techniques, and strategies for dealing with difficult emotions, memories, or situations. Educate you on concepts, such as your nervous system, your emotions, the brain, the power and control wheel, and many other things depending upon what you are wanting, what different people specialize in, and what we collaborate to work on.

In order for therapy to be effective, this usually requires engaging in your own personal work outside of therapy, such as through reading therapeutic books that we may discuss in sessions to make therapy sessions more effective, collaborating on ways to enhance and/or implement different skills, identifying and implementing beneficial self-care strategies, techniques and/or changes in daily life outside of the therapy session.

The outcome of treatment is greatly influenced by a person’s willingness to engage in the therapeutic process. This means knowing what you want out of therapy (aka goals and things you want to work on), collaboration between the therapist and the client, and if the therapist is a "good fit" or match for what the client wants and needs such as therapy styles, theories and frameworks the therapist practices from, and other different qualities that are unique to each client and each therapist that can help them work together.

Engaging in the therapeutic process often requires self-reflection, honesty with yourself, accountability, engaging in consistent life changes, experimenting with and/or implementing different mental health techniques or coping skills as discussed in therapy, and on.

I believe firmly in choice and autonomy for each individual. With that said, I know that I am not the right fit for every client. Nor will you be the right fit for every therapist.

I believe that it is important to search around, to try to figure out what is the most important qualities for what you want in a therapist, and to see if your worldview matches up with various therapists’ ways of seeing the world.

It is important that your therapist “gets you”. You deserve to be understood and truly seen.

You are not "just a case", "just a number", "just another client".

You are a unique individual human being.

You matter.

Wishing you all the best. - Vi, The Hopeful Existentialist